Two Souls One Mage
by duckstorm47
Summary: Bixlow and Lisanna accidentally end up getting stuck in the same body. What hilarious things will ensue? T for Bixlow's HORIBBLE potty mouth and some funny moments. I don't own the Fairies.
1. Chapter 1

Lisanna x Bixlow

Title: Two souls in one Mage!

Chapter 1: The monster

Normal Speak

_Thoughts from Bixlow_

**MONSTER SPEAK**

Bixlow and Lisanna were currently fighting for their lives. They had chosen a quest not to far away, yet good paying. The problem was that it was _tons_ harder than the normal quests. The monster _loved_ to mess with the mages and people in general.

**Hey HUUUUUMAAAAANS!** It yelled.

"What?" yelled a very pissed off Bixlow, his dolls echoing him.

**GUGUG!** It yelled, sending a spell towards the voice.

Bixlow was knocked seemingly unconscious as Lisanna killed the monster with one hit to the head.

"Finally!" she yelled triumphantly, looking towards unconscious Bixlow, who was currently surrounded by his dolls.

Seeing how Bixlow was unable to normally move, Lisanna had to drag him. And so she did. But when she touched him, a strange shiver went down her spine, like something was watching her.

But Lisanna dragged the Seethe mage all the way back to Fairy Tail. There, she dumped him off at the medic and went home.

| |_| + |_| | AM (About 12 hours later..)

Lisanna woke with a huge headache. Her held felt like it was trying to be split in half. She was trying to figure out the problem when a voice resounded, sounding very familiar.

_LISANNA! Oh Thank God! Please, Lisanna, You have GOT to help me! Please! I've been in this weird coma and- wait, why am I in your room?_

Lisanna jumped 5 feet when she heard the voice of Bixlow go through her head.

"Bi-i-ixlow?" she called carefully.

_Ya?_

"Where are you?"

_In your room. But I can't seem to move. At all._

"What do you see?"

_Hmm… I see… a big pink fluffy bunny directly in front of me, a light blue bookcase to the right, a bright yellow door saying Lisanna… And that's it besides the pink walls._

Bixlow had just completely described Lisanna's room. From _her _eyes.

"Bixlow?" She asked, raising a hand over her eyes, covering them.

_What? Oh, and what did you do? The world is black now. Completely. I can't see at all. _

"Hey Bixlow, I think I know the reason why you can't move at all and why you are in my room."

_Why?_

"You are in my head."


	2. Chapter 2

Lisanna x Bixlow

Tile: Two Souls, One Mage!

Normal Speak

_Bixlow's thoughts_, which are heard by Lisanna and the babies only.

~Lisanna's Thoughts~ heard only by Bixlow and babies

~_Both~_

"…so let me get this straight. Bixlow is in your head."

"Yes, Mira, I told you that already. I just want hi-"

"He better not do anything unmanly and creep on my sister!"

_These people have no faith in me. I mean really! I won't be perverted…much…_

"Perverted! Perverted!"

…_f*cking babies…_

Elfman then went on a rage, yelling about how unmanly Bixlow was-

_If he hurts my body, so help me God-_

Mirajane started thinking about romantically pairing the two-

~If my sister tries to romantically pair us, so help me God…~

While Bix's Babes flew around yelling out Bixlow's Thoughts.

"God!"

"Hurts!"

"Help my body!"

"Hurts"

The babies, after yelling out the thoughts, flew around Lisanna's head once more.

~How do you stand these things?~

_You get used to them eventually. It doesn't take to long._

"Well guys, I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back to take a job in about an hour."

_You stay in the shower for an hour?_

~F*ck off~

The babies, listening in on the couple's thoughts, ran off yelling out for all to hear,

"F*ck in the shower!"

"For!"

"Hour!"

~_SHUT UP BABIES!_~

[At Lisanna's House]

~Finally I can relax! The babies are asleep-~

_Stacked perfectly._

~And I have an hour to clean myself off. Perfect.~

So Lisanna proceeded to get ready for a shower, taking off her clothes piece by piece and stepping into the-

{Author's Note: This will be staying PG-13. No sex in the showers. This next scene is purely for humor. If you don't like it, skip the rest of the chapter and read the next one. -Duck}

-shower.

"Aaaaaaaaaahhh…" Lisanna stepped into the nice warm shower, instantly relaxing, all muscles untensing. Bixlow, on the other hand, was trying to keep from laughing. He was able to hide his laughter up until the girl started singing to the radio she had turned on.

"And I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four-wheel-drive. Carved my-"

_HAHAHA OH MY GOSH! You did NOT just sing to the radio-_

~What's wrong with singing?~

_-just after stripping completely naked, basically giving me a strip show. HAHAHAHA_

Cheeks red, she made a note to kick Bixlow's currently unprotected nuts as hard as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

Lisanna x Bixlow

Title: Two Souls, One Mage!

I Don't own Fairy Tail…Sadly. Then this would be cannon!

Normal Speak

_Bix's Thoughts_

/Lis's Thoughts/…Sorry had to change!

**Monster Speak**

I felt that I HAD to rewrite this. This story… by far my best. So I'm rewriting the last chapter and moving it far.

/Listen Bix, you think about this and I swear you will wake up from this spell wishing you hadn't./

_Is that a threat I hear Ms. Singing Stri-_

/Finish that thought. I dare you. I F*cking dare yo-/

_Lisanna is Ms. Singing Stripper._

The babies repeated Bixlow's previous thought so much that Lisanna, in hopes that her guild mates would forget the statements, grabbed a mission and ran.

[Mission: Cyclops Attacks! Help!]

The villagers explained, after laughing at the floating totems' calls toward Lisanna, that a Cyclops had been attacking since the village had started selling their sheep, who had been randomly disappearing.

_Oh this is EASY! One eye was eating those sheep!_

"One eye sheep eater!" called the dolls, laughing and spinning around.

/I am really starting to hate those dolls!/ thought yelled Lisanna/…though they are oddly cute…/

Bixlow chuckled at that last comment, only to be mentally slapped.

…

The mage with two souls went out on a hunt. The two of them worked together looking for this one eyed giant. Lisanna used her Animal Soul: Harpy to fly around, giving the two of them an aerial view, while Bixlow sent out his babies for recon. Bixlow later wished that his babies had found the giant first.

Lisanna had been around and flying when she saw the monster stomp into a cave. Bix called on his babies, who were a while away, while Lisanna went in. She silently changed into Animal Soul: Bat to see what was going on.

**RAWRG! Why village no let me take sheepys anymore!**__Cried the monster, **They so cute! Me love them!** The Sheppard got on the ground, about to sleep, when Lisanna fell.

"Eep!" she screeched, falling to the ground.

The monster, thinking it was something that would eat his pets, roared out with a terrible roar and went after the sound.

_Lissy! Quick! Run! Hide! Please! _Thought yelled a frantic Bixlow.

"Animal Soul: Shee-" it was too late. The giant had inadvertently stomped on the poor bat's wing, making it yell in pain and change back. The pain sent Bixlow's Soul a quivering. He tried to get Lisanna to move, but the pain had made her pass out.

_Lisanna! Lisanna!_

"Lisanna, Lisanna!" cried his babies joyously.

The giant, who had held the girl in one hand previously, dropped the Animal Soul Mage in search of the totems. Bixlow, meanwhile, tried to figure out a way to help Lisanna, who, with the help of a newly received cut to the arm, was bleeding to death. Bixlow concentrated hard, trying to leave this body and move to another. The Cyclops roared, and the Seethe Mage came up with an evil idea.

…

Bixlow's Soul moved quickly into the one eyed beast, knocking aside the current user and taking control. He, in his new giant form, picked up the limp girl on the floor and ran down the mountain towards the village. The sheep followed, Baaing all the way. Bixclops ran into the village, and towards the medic. The panting semi-monster couldn't put together words.

**Save…girl…please…** the monster begged.

The village, confused, did as he said, all the while hopping he wouldn't attack. Bixlow didn't hurt a fly. All he did was lie down and think of his own body, hoping for a transfer.

…two days later…

"Bixlow!" yelled a white haired mage," Where in Edol-I mean Earthland- have you been?"

"Saving your ass, Lissy-baby," smirked Bixlow, chuckling at her growls.

"What?" he smirked," I couldn't help it! Plus, you owe me for all the worry you put me through while I was on my way here. I thought that monster would have killed you!...you know, instead of becoming the village's shepard."

Lisanna laughed and motioned-with her non-broken arm of course- for her friend to come closer.

"Um Bixlow…I was wondering…would you um… like to go out with me?" the girl stuttered nervously.

"Sure!" smirked the tongue waging man, "after all, I have been in you already. Might as well be with you to!."

**Alright! Fixing a bad ending with this much better and needed one! YA! R&R and look out for the rest of the stories I am writing! **


	4. Chapter 3 ORIGINAL AND BAD ENDING

Lisanna x Bixlow

Title: Two Souls, One Mage!

I Don't own Fairy Tail…Sadly. Then this would be cannon!

Normal Speak

_Bix's Thoughts_

/Lis's Thoughts/…Sorry had to change!

/Listen Bix, you think about this and I swear you will wake up from this spell wishing you hadn't./

_Is that a threat I hear Ms. Singing Stri-_

/Finish that thought. I dare you. I F*cking dare yo-/

_Lisanna is Ms. Singing Stripper._

The babies repeated Bixlow's previous thought so much in the guild that Lisanna, in hopes that her guild mates would forget, grabbed a mission and ran.

[At Mission Site: Objective: Find Missing Old Man]

_Where in Hell is this God Damned Old man?  
_The pair was using Lisanna's Animal Soul: Bird to fly and search for the old man who disappeared. HE was rumored to be psychic, but the Seethe Mage was doubting this.

_If He's Psychic, how in HELL does he get lost?_

Lisanna sighed and kept looking. Bixlow had sent out his babies, but he was still stuck with her. /Dang! This is worse than being trapped in Edolas! Or being trapped in a cell naked along with Natsu![AN: True Story. Not even my own material there!] Oh if only this unsufferable/

_Dashingly Handsome_

/Annoying/

_Yet owning of a voice so soothing_

/Assholistic Bastard wasn't so…so…/

_Hot?_

/FUCK OFF BIXLOW!/

_Can't Babe. I'm stuck will you like glue._

_/ARGH!/_

In her rage, Lisanna forgot how to fly and fell down, down, down. Onto the old man.

"o wow owowo. Watch where you're going young lady!...and Man Soul."

_O_o THE F*CK_

"I take it you want to be split?"

Lisanna yelled louder than anybody had ever before,"Yes!"

"Can't help you. But I could Transfer the Man Soul to another body…"

"Perfect we'll take it!"

So Lisanna, after collecting the reward, dragged the oldman to the guild and brought him into Bixlow's Body Room.

"Just before you send over his soul, I have to do one thing."

*SLAM*

_That is REALLY gonna hurt when I get back in there…_

"Alright, Mr. Psychic, please send out this soul which should not be in my body and place it back where it belongs!"

"Should I read you the risks?"

"Don't care. Do it."

"O…okay."

So The man reached through Lisanna and pulled on Bixlow's Soul. He threw it into the correct body just as he slumped over, along with Lisanna's Body.

The Next day…

Bixlow was moaning about the pain in his head and…down there…

"They hurt like a B*tch! AAAAARGH!"  
"That's what you get for calling my sister a stripper, buddy." Glared Mira.

/Where the heck am I?/

"Oh shit."

"Whats wrong?"

/Goddammit not again!/

"Lisanna's Soul is stuck in my body!"

**TADA! I'm Done! Only took an all nighter and a failed essay, but I did it! Writing two chapters in one night? Easy. But I'll never do it again. Dear readers, I regret to inform you that this is the end of this particular story(unless I decide to make a sequel, but that remains to be seen) so ya. But you could Guess whats gonna happen. Unless you want a sequel. If so, Please comment on the story and rate my writings, along with weather or not you want a part II. Bu-Bye, Quackers! -Duck**


End file.
